After 7 months…

I have mixed feeling about where I am now. I probably improved quite a lot in the capacity to use the camera, compose pictures and think about stories. I feel much strongly that pictures must have a purpose. I feel I am much more conscious of what I am shooting and about the choices I make when composing the pictures. I sometime hear the voice of Paul of Homer when pushing the shutter button (“think about the frame!”, “why are you tilting the image?”) which is somehow scary!

But on the other side, being exposed to a previously unknown world of photography and to the great shots of my course colleagues makes me feel that - whatever progress I have made – it is ridiculously little compared what I still need to do.

The photography bookshelves are evidence of how many new things I discovered! From next to nothing to two full large bookshelves. Of course having a book does not mean to know it or to remember its content. I had my embarrassing moments (like, in the same conversation, telling to a friend that I had no idea of Nachtwey was… and then how much I had liked a big black book called “inferno”…). It was good to do have repeated chances to visit London, because photography bookshops in Roma are virtually non existent and have a very limited selection. Italy is certainly not London when it comes to photography, but I am making now a more conscious effort to discover places where to hang around, as there are a few hidden gems. I am yet to visit the gallery of Noor, recently discovered, and the Contrasto space in Milano, for example.

The lectures were really good, and I want to revisit them systematically (so I badly need the archive to work!). We looked at an impressive list of photographers. Some of them really made a strong impression on me. But when looking back at the list, I sometimes find names that sound new to me! I do not know if it is because they did not strike me or because I just was overloaded... As soon as archives will be on line, I plan to do “a photographer a day”: I should listen again to the lecture and make some additional research on the internet to look at more pictures.

I squeezed the Master in between a demanding work schedule. Being overworked did not help. When working 150% of my time, piling up a master on top is really a lot. The fact that I managed to complete all assignments and assessments on time, and that I was able to - more or less - keep the pace of the classes was a true sign of how much I enjoy the course and I am committed to this. Of course the price to pay for this is that I did not have enough time to absorb the teaching, to really spend the extra time after each class and on each assessment to go deeper in it. In some cases the travelling schedule made it impossible or me to access the tutorial which was a big loss. Lack of time and lot of travelling also means that I – as usual – take tons of pics in a place and I have next to zero time to look back at them and really think what to do with them. Actually one of my problems is that I am exposed to so many stories to the point that I have an embarrassment of the riches when it comes to choice.. but zero time to then work on any of them.

Of course I am now more conscious that I SHOULD tell stories, but in most cases the only “stories” I end up telling are dull stories of a development project, and of the methodology about it... Which is probably fine, given where I work, but not really exciting… But nevertheless I feel I made progress on this and started to influence some colleagues on how pictures and visual analysis could be used to improve our work and understanding.

Actually the master was one of the factors in my decision not to renew the contract with ActionAid (which will expire end of October). I know that, if I am really serious about it, I need of more time for photography outside work. And I also know that - loving my work so much - I would never had managed to free that time available if I continued with the contract. So I took this brave decision. Starting from November I will have to reinvent my life. Of course there is the risk that - having to look for shorter term jobs (consultancies, freelancing and the like) – I will end up with less time than before! But what I hope is that, by forcing myself to chose where to engage, I can devote more consciously time to photography, and maybe I can seek for engagements where photography has a more important part than it has now.

I feel that I should improve a lot on the technical side. I was lucky enough to be supported by a colleague in the communication department which accompanied me in photo walks and criticized my work. This was extremely useful, and really pushed me out of my comfort zone (=the “P” setting of the Nikon and my zoom lenses!). I tried out different camera settings, I started to work with different lenses and I am now working with foxed focal quite a lot, which I never did in the past. I bought myself a flash and next step is to try to play with it.

I wish there was a way to do more of this technical counselling within the course. I understand it is not easy to organize this when we are all over the places. But it would be good for example, to have a residential week of photography somewhere. It would be great to do this within the course… but if this is not possible, maybe the course should present alternative options for that where small groups could engage together in some external initiative.

I need to work on the technical side more, when I shoot (being more in control of how I chose to take that picture in terms of settings / lenses / light..) but also after, on my laptop. In a way I take so many pics that post production work really is not on my radar, and it should be. Despite being a bit of a computer geek, I did not invest enough time to be a serious user of software and to learn what is really the best way to process a picture. Now I play with some basic parameters, but a bit randomly really… Again, it would be good to tackle this in the course.

Probably a lot more to tell… but this is what comes to mind now…